Staying Calm while Negotiating with Your Ex

1. Take a Deep Breath Helps you to relax, get centered and gets you out of that fight or flight mode.

2. Release Your Negative Emotions Finding ways to release pent-up emotions before you have your tough conversations makes it easier.

3. Take a look at the big picture and look out into the future: look at what you want your life to look like 20 years. Do you want to be upset and still resentful about your ex, or do you want to have more peace and clarity. Stay focused and keep your eye on the prize.

4. Don’t give away your power. iI’s tempting to give your power away to others in order to avoid conflict but you and your family are the ones who will have to live with the consequences. You have both the power and the responsibility to give input on decisions that will affect the rest of your life.

5. Do not take it personally. It is so easy to fall into the trap of taking interactions and choices made by your ex-spouse personally. Especially in situations of conflict, people will inevitably have different opinions and strong emotional reactions. What your ex-partner thinks of you is no longer any of your business. The degree to which you continue to respond and react to what your ex thinks, says, or does is the degree to which you help create your own suffering. Best thing to do it look at your divorce as a business deal and take your emotions out of it.