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Tired of boring small talk that goes nowhere? In this video, you’ll learn the psychology behind how to have better conversations — how to create real connection, and exactly what to say to make it happen.

I’m creating a workshop to help you date and connect with confidence — tell me what you want me to cover: forms.gle/MUBu4MqMGcPsqNMDA

Here's a brief guide to starting, deepening, and exiting conversations with confidence: thomas-smithyman.mykajabi.com/art-of-conversation-…

If you want to get past your fear of talking to people, you can get my book here: geni.us/DatingWithoutFear

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SELECT REFERENCES
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363–377.

Demir, M., Şimşek, Ö. F., & Procsal, A. D. (2013). I am so happy ’cause my best friend makes me feel unique: Friendship, personal sense of uniqueness and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 14(4), 1201–1224.

Guthrie, T. D., & Chavez, R. S. (2024). Normativity vs. uniqueness: Effects of social relationship strength on neural representations of others. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 19(1), Article nsae045.

Higgins, E. T., Rossignac-Milon, M., & Echterhoff, G. (2021). Shared reality: From sharing-is-believing to merging minds. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 30(2), 103–110.

Huang, K., Yeomans, M., Brooks, A. W., Minson, J., & Gino, F. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(3), 430–452.

Itzchakov, G., Kluger, A. N., & Castro, D. R. (2017). I am aware of my inconsistencies but can tolerate them: The effect of high quality listening on speakers’ attitude ambivalence. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 43(1), 105–120.

Kardas, M., Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2022). Overly shallow?: Miscalibrated expectations create a barrier to deeper conversation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 122(3), 367–398.

Koskinen, E., Henttonen, P., Harjunen, V., Krusemark, E., Piispanen, M., Voutilainen, L., Wuolio, M., & Peräkylä, A. (2024). Putting self at stake by telling a story: Storyteller’s narcissistic traits modulate physiological emotional reactions to recipient’s disengagement. PLOS ONE, 19(8), e0302703.

Murphy, S., Melandri, E., & Bucci, W. (2021). The effects of story-telling on emotional experience: An experimental paradigm. Journal of Psycholinguistic Research, 50(1), 117–142.

Peräkylä, A., Henttonen, P., Voutilainen, L., Kahri, M., Stevanovic, M., Sams, M., & Ravaja, N. (2015). Sharing the emotional load: Recipient affiliation calms down the storyteller. Social Psychology Quarterly, 78(4), 301–323.

Smirnov, D., Saarimäki, H., Glerean, E., Hari, R., Sams, M., & Nummenmaa, L. (2019). Emotions amplify speaker–listener neural alignment. Human Brain Mapping, 40(16), 4777–4788.

Speer, S. P. H., Mwilambwe-Tshilobo, L., Tsoi, L., Burns, S. M., Falk, E. B., & Tamir, D. I. (2024). Hyperscanning shows friends explore and strangers converge in conversation. Nature Communications, 15(1), 7781.

Tamir, D. I., & Mitchell, J. P. (2012). Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(21), 8038–8043.


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DISCLAIMER
This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case.

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